1
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:05,204
- DARLING, I PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T BE WRITING TO YOU,

2
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,506
BUT I CAN'T GET YOU
OUT OF MY MIND.

3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,909
THAT WEEKEND WE SPENT IN VERMONT
WAS THE MOST POWERFUL

4
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,745
EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

5
00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:15,914
YOU ARE THE MOST PERFECT MAN
THAT WAS EVER CREATED,

6
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,516
AND I MUST HAVE YOU.

7
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,418
- UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

8
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,619
- READING A LETTER.

9
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,287
- THAT'S NOT ADDRESSED TO YOU.

10
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,089
- OH, IS THAT A CRIME?

11
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:26,692
- YES. THIS IS YOUR MAIL.

12
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,895
- LOOK, HERE'S A 20 SPOT IF YOU
GIVE ME BACK THE LETTER.

13
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:33,499
- BRIBING A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL
IS ALSO A CRIME.

14
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,934
AND IS THIS COUNTERFEIT MONEY?

15
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,937
- WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME
THAT'S A CRIME, TOO?

16
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,807
LAST TIME I CHECKED,
I WAS LIVING IN AMERICA.

17
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,109
OOH! LOOK OVER THERE!

18
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:47,312
[SCREAMING]

19
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:57,656
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PEOPLE
DON'T LET ME READ YOUR MAIL?!

20
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:00,259
SOON AS I CAN MAKE
A COUNTERFEIT PASSPORT,

21
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,828
I'M MOVING TO MEXICO.

22
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:09,968
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS ANIMATION

23
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:30,255
- RESTRAINING ORDER.
MEDICAL BILL.

24
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,858
INVITATION TO MY
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.

25
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,393
ANOTHER RESTRAINING ORDER.

26
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,961
- WHAT ARE YOU THROWING
THAT OUT FOR?

27
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,964
- YOU CAN'T RESTRAIN ME.
I'M A FREE SPIRIT.

28
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:42,301
- NOT THAT, THE INVITATION TO
YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.

29
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,836
- A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
STANDING AROUND

30
00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:46,572
TALKING ABOUT THEIR BABIES
AND THEIR MINIVANS?

31
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,340
HUH. SOUNDS THRILLING.

32
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,642
- YOU SHOULD BE EXCITED
TO GO TO YOUR REUNION.

33
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,545
YOU ALWAYS SAID HIGH SCHOOL WAS
THE GREATEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

34
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,447
- HMM, THAT'S TRUE.

35
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,316
HIGH SCHOOL WAS EPIC.

36
00:01:57,318 --> 00:02:00,352
I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT
WAS YESTERDAY.

37
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,857
THERE WERE 3 SECONDS LEFT,

38
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:07,926
AND EVERYONE KNEW I WAS
TAKING THE LAST SHOT.

39
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,362
- [STAMMERING]
HI, I'M P-P-PORKY PIG.

40
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,730
- YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.

41
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,166
I'M DAFFY DUCK,
THE GUY WHO DIDN'T ASK.

42
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,934
NOW BEAT IT!

43
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,470
NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT.

44
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,940
SO I GET THE BALL.
THE CLOCK STARTS TICKING.

45
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:25,511
3, 2...NOTHING BUT NET.

46
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:26,912
- [GIRLS GIGGLING]

47
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:30,849
- DAFFY DUCK GETS
ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS.

48
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,317
- IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?

49
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:37,122
- NO, IT'S RIGHT THERE.
YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT AT IT.

50
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,790
- GREETINGS.

51
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:42,461
I'M MARVIN THE FOREIGN
EXCHANGE STUDENT.

52
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,097
- OH. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

53
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,299
- MARS.

54
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,801
- WELL, LADIES, I'D BETTER
GET TO CLASS.

55
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,504
THOSE STRAIGHT "A"s AREN'T
GOING TO MAKE THEMSELVES.

56
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,439
- [GIRLS GIGGLING]

57
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,641
- HI, DAFFY.

58
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,509
- WELL, AREN'T YOU SWEET?

59
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,645
IN FACT, THE ONLY THING
SWEETER THAN YOU

60
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,346
IS THAT CAKE OVER THERE.

61
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,781
HEY, CAKE FOR THE LADY!

62
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,050
YOU KNOW WHAT?
CAKE FOR EVERYBODY!

63
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,718
IT'S ON ME.

64
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,720
- [CHEERING]

65
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,125
- ARE YOU NERDS
ENJOYING THE CAKE?

66
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,726
- IT'S STUPENDOUS.

67
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:15,994
- YUM!

68
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,462
- IS THAT REALLY ON YOU?

69
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,865
- NO, IT'S ON YOU!

70
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,700
[LAUGHING]

71
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,336
- DAFFY DUCK! DAFFY DUCK!

72
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,805
DAFFY DUCK! DAFFY DUCK!

73
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,708
- YECH, I BET PORKY'S
NOT GOING TO THE REUNION.

74
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,643
BUT YOU WERE
THE BIG MAN ON CAMPUS.

75
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,278
WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO GO?

76
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,546
- LOOK AT MY LIFE NOW.

77
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,448
I LIVE IN A DUMP. NO OFFENSE.

78
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,850
I HAVE A STUPID ROOMMATE.
NO OFFENSE.

79
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,787
AND I'VE PILED UP TONS OF
CREDIT CARD DEBT. NO OFFENSE.

80
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,822
- WHY WOULD I TAKE OFFENSE
TO THAT?

81
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,891
- BECAUSE I USED
YOUR CREDIT CAR.

82
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,994
THE POINT IS I PEAKED
IN HIGH SCHOOL!

83
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,164
- AT LEAST YOU GOT TO GO
TO HIGH SCHOOL.

84
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,099
- YOU DIDN'T GO TO HIGH SCHOOL?

85
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:57,869
- LET'S JUST SAY MY YOUTH
WAS UNCONVENTIONAL.

86
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,405
- WHAT WAS SO UNCONVENTIONAL
ABOUT YOUR YOUTH?

87
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,873
- IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

88
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,644
MY UNCONVENTIONAL, INCOMPARABLE,
INIMITABLE YOUTH

89
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,413
IS NOT IMPORTANT.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT

90
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,015
IS THAT YOU ATTEND
THIS REUNION.

91
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,284
- WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO GO
TO MY REUNION SO BAD?

92
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,419
- BECAUSE YOU CAN.
DON'T YOU SEE?

93
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,990
YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO
SOMETHING I CAN ONLY DREAM OF:

94
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:21,193
STAND AROUND WITH PEOPLE
YOU BARELY REMEMBER,

95
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:23,262
REMINISCING ABOUT THE BIG GAME,

96
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,998
SENIOR PROM, HOMEWORK!

97
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,165
- YOU'RE WEIRD.

98
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,167
- ALL RIGHT, THE REUNION'S
ON SATURDAY,

99
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:32,204
WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE
A WHOLE WEEK TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

100
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:36,208
- I CAN'T MAKE SOMETHING
OF MY LIFE IN 5 DAYS.

101
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,176
- YOU CAN WITH MY HELP,

102
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,878
AND A WEEK IS 7 DAYS.

103
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,447
- 5. I'M NOT LETTING THIS
CUT INTO MY WEEKEND.

104
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:46,718
THAT'S MY "ME TIME."
I'LL SEE YOU ON MONDAY MORNING.

105
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,721
EH, THAT'S A LITTLE AMBITIOUS.
MONDAY AFTERNOON.

106
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,890
YOU KNOW WHAT? NOTHING EVER
GETS DONE ON A MONDAY.

107
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:55,427
LET'S START TUESDAY, NOON...

108
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,895
ISH.

109
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:10,042
- THIS IS YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL,
WHICH I DON'T NEED TO REMIND YOU

110
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:11,376
I NEVER GOT TO GO TO.

111
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,011
AND THIS IS YOU NOW.

112
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,314
THERE'S ONLY 4 DAYS
UNTIL YOUR REUNION.

113
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:18,784
A REUNION THAT I WOULD LOVE
TO ATTEND, BY THE WAY.

114
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:22,988
SO WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME
TO GET YOU FROM HERE TO HERE.

115
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,523
- HOW DO WE DO IT?

116
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,291
- HMM, LET ME THINK.

117
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:30,162
YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
SPECIAL, SOMETHING ADMIRABLE,

118
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,130
SOMETHING HEROIC.

119
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,666
- LIKE DESTROY THE EARTH!

120
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,669
- MORE LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,
CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST?

121
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,338
- [GASPS] THAT'S IT!

122
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:45,010
EVERYONE AT THE REUNION WOULD
HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO!

123
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:48,013
[SCREAMS ECHOING]

124
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,049
[HISSES]

125
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,852
YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN'T
CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST

126
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,954
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE
A WINTER JACKET.

127
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:56,955
- YOU COULD BUY.
- NOPE.

128
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,690
- YOU COULD BORROW.
- NOPE.

129
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,692
I CAN'T CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST

130
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,928
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE
A WINTER JACKET.

131
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:06,331
SHAME. WELL, I THINK
THAT WAS A GOOD DAY ONE.

132
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,666
- SAME TIME TOMORROW?

133
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,201
- PROBABLY NOT TOMORROW.

134
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:12,037
I'M PRETTY BLOWN OUT.
LET'S SHOOT FOR THURSDAY.

135
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,406
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE A THING ON THURSDAY.

136
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:17,743
FRIDAY, I SWEAR.
SEE YOU SATURDAY!

137
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,415
SO WHEN'S THIS REUNION AGAIN?

138
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,816
- IT'S TONIGHT.

139
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,753
- WHAT?! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING THIS WHOLE TIME?

140
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,088
I GUESS I'M NOT GOING
TO MY REUNION.

141
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,791
- WE'VE GOT TO GO!
I MEAN YOU'VE GOT TO GO.

142
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,559
AND THERE'S STILL
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO

143
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,828
TO IMPRESS EVERYONE
AT THE REUNION.

144
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,231
AND IT'S NOT DESTROY THE EARTH.

145
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,032
- THEN WHAT IS IT?

146
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,704
I'M RUINING MY MANICURE.

147
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,639
GIVE ME YOUR QUARTER.

148
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,509
- I'M STARTING TO THINK
THE ODDS OF WINNING THE LOTTERY ARE PRETTY LOW.

149
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,612
- [GASPS] THREE SIXES?
THREE SIXES!

150
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,948
I WON! I WON THE LOTTERY!
I'M RICH!

151
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,717
- WE CAN GO TO YOUR REUNION!

152
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,752
I MEAN YOU CAN GO
TO YOUR REUNION.

153
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,421
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

154
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,956
HAPPY AND JEALOUS!
MOSTLY JEALOUS!

155
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:09,161
- HA HA! I'M RICH! I'M RICH!

156
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:12,531
I KNEW I DIDN'T PEAK
IN HIGH SCHOOL!

157
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:15,066
- DAFFY, YOU DIDN'T GET
THREE SIXES.

158
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,636
YOU WERE HOLDING IT UPSIDE-DOWN.

159
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,604
YOU GOT THREE NINES.

160
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:23,508
BESIDES, YOU WERE PLAYING
LUCKY EIGHTS.

161
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,344
THIS IS HOPELESS.

162
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,414
- EXCUSE ME. DO YOU HAVE
A QUARTER FOR THE PARKING METER?

163
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,549
- NO.

164
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,950
- BUT YOU'RE HOLDING A QUARTER.

165
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,286
- WHAT, THIS?
THIS ISN'T A QUARTER.

166
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,520
- THAT'S NOT A QUARTER?

167
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,055
- NO. THIS IS A FAKE.

168
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,658
I'M AGENT JIMMY GLASS,
AND THIS IS AGENT IRA BUTTLES,

169
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,526
AND WE'RE WITH
THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT.

170
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,696
WE'RE INVESTIGATING
A HIGHLY ILLEGAL COUNTERFEIT OPERATION IN THE AREA.

171
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,565
I'M GONNA NEED TO SEE
YOUR WALLET.

172
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:50,101
- OH! UH, OF COURSE.

173
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:52,404
- YEP, THIS ONE LOOKS
A LITTLE IFFY.

174
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,973
GONNA HAVE TO RUN SOME TESTS.
NOW GET OUT OF HERE.

175
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,942
BUT KEEP YOUR EYES
AND EARS OPEN!

176
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,478
- THAT'S IT! I THOUGHT
IN ORDER TO GO TO THE REUNION,

177
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,848
YOU NEEDED TO BE SOMEONE
YOU'RE NOT: A SUCCESS.

178
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,950
BUT IT TURNS OUT
YOU SHOULD JUST GO

179
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:08,220
AS SOMEONE YOU
ALREADY ARE: A LIAR.

180
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:10,121
- YOU WANT ME TO GO
TO THE REUNION

181
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,024
AND JUST LIE ABOUT
HOW SUCCESSFUL I AM?

182
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,694
THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA!

183
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:19,264
I'M LYING. IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

184
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,700
OR WAS <i>THAT</i> A LIE?

185
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:25,303
THIS LYING COULD GET
OUT OF CONTROL.

186
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,305
OR IS <i>THAT</i> A LIE?

187
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,709
THE LYING IS IN CONTROL!

188
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,578
- OH, BRUDDER.

189
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,947
- WELL, AFTER HIGH SCHOOL,

190
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,983
I JUST HAD TO
GET AWAY FROM IT ALL,

191
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:41,253
GET BACK TO WHAT'S IMPORTANT:
THE LAND.

192
00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:42,420
[DING]

193
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:45,257
- I'VE GOT ABOUT 30,000 ACRES
IN MONTANA.

194
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,258
[DING]

195
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:49,261
- PROBABLY ABOUT 50,000
HEAD OF CATTLE.

196
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:50,595
[DING]

197
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:54,299
- THAT'S ABOUT 2 HEADS
OF CATTLE PER ACRE. YEAH.

198
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,467
[DING]

199
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:58,069
- I LOVE A CATTLE DRIVE.

200
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,204
[DING]

201
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,772
- TOO MUCH SPITTING.

202
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,074
- I SIGNED UP AFTER GRADUATION.

203
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,678
I HEARD THE CALL OF DUTY,
AND I ANSWERED.

204
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,079
OH, THIS?

205
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,950
WHAT YOU CALL HEROISM,
I CALL DUTY.

206
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,386
BELIEVE ME, WHEN YOU'RE
DOING YOUR DUTY,

207
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:17,188
YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT THE FACT
THAT YOU'RE DOING YOUR DUTY.

208
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,658
IT'S YOUR DUTY. YOU JUST DO IT.

209
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,027
YOU DO YOUR DUTY.

210
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,696
- TOO MUCH SAYING
THE WORD "DUTY."

211
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,998
- [GRUFF VOICE] I'M BATMAN.

212
00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,570
- SO WHAT LIE DID YOU SETTLE ON?

213
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,272
- ONE LIE IS TOO LIMITING.

214
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,709
IT'S GONNA BE A BIG REUNION.
I CAN TELL A LOT OF LIES.

215
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,878
- THAT COULDN'T
POSSIBLY BACKFIRE.

216
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,313
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

217
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:44,849
- WELL, IF I WERE YOU,
I'D BRING SOMEONE ALONG

218
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:47,218
TO HELP YOU KEEP TRACK
OF ALL THOSE LIES.

219
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,121
- BUT WHO WOULD WANT TO GO
TO SOMEONE ELSE'S REUNION?

220
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,291
- ME! I WANT TO GO
TO YOUR REUNION!

221
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:57,596
- YOU? THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SOMETHING EARLIER?

222
00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,599
[MUSIC PLAYING]

223
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,133
- JUST STAY CLOSE.

224
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:07,339
THE LIES ARE ABOUT
TO GET COMPLICATED.

225
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,340
- NAME?

226
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,942
- COUNT LEOPOLD
VON LICHTENSTEIN.

227
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,677
- HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT?

228
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:13,945
- BOB JONES.

229
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,680
- WELL, WHICH ONE IS IT?

230
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:17,082
- UH, BOTH!

231
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,417
- EH, MAYBE EASE INTO THE LIES.

232
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,753
THIS IS HIM.

233
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,488
- WHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE.

234
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,558
PROMISE ME YOU WON'T LEAVE
MY SIDE THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

235
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,026
- I PROMISE.

236
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,595
[GASPS] ARE THOSE LOCKERS?

237
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,230
- BUGS! BUGS!

238
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,632
[MUSIC PLAYING]

239
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,368
- 
 PARTY TONIGHT

240
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,242
[SIREN]

241
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,111
- 
 I SAY, I SAY,
EVERYDAY I GO OUT WALKIN' 


242
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,313

 ALL THEM LADIES
START TO SQUAWKIN' 


243
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,682

 'CAUSE THEY KNOW THAT I'M
THE COOLEST BIRD AROUND 


244
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,384
- [HENS SIGHING]

245
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:55,687
- 
 NOW, SON, I'VE BEEN TO PARIS
ON A BOAT WITH 50 SAILS 


246
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:59,457

 GOT THROWN INTO THE WATER,
AND I WRESTLED ME A WHALE 


247
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:03,261

 'CAUSE I'M A BIRD OF ACTION,
I DON'T JUST TALK THE TALK 


248
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:07,265

 ONE THING ABOUT
OLD FOGHORN, SON 


249
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,135

 I'M THE COCK OF THE WALK

250
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:13,672

 I REDESIGNED THE TAJ MAHAL
AND PAINTED EVERY ROOM 


251
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,575

 I DRIVE A BIG OL'
MONSTER TRUCK THAT RUNS ON CHEAP PERFUME 


252
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:21,279

 I'VE WON OLYMPIC GOLD
FOR EVERY RACE I'VE EVER RUN 


253
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:25,150

 AND I GOT A NOBEL PRIZE
JUST FOR HAVIN' TOO MUCH FUN 


254
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:28,687

 A TIGER TRIED TO EAT ME,
BUT I PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE 


255
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:32,691

 I CAUGHT THE LOCH NESS MONSTER
AND A FLOCK OF UFOs 


256
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:36,294

 HARVARD HIRED ME TO BE THEIR
NUMBER ONE HEAD TEACHER 


257
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:40,065

 I WON AN OSCAR FOR BEST
ROOSTER IN AN ANIMATED FEATURE 


258
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:43,702

 I WALK INTO THE HEN HOUSE,
ALL THE CHICKENS START TO SQUAWK 


259
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:48,506

 YOU LOOK AT ME, YOU'RE LOOKIN'
AT THE COCK OF THE WALK 


260
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,607
- [SQUAWKING]

261
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:53,178
- 
 YOU LOOK AT ME,
YOU REALLY SEE THE 


262
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,380

 COCK OF THE WALK

263
00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:05,290
- BUGS! BUGS!

264
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:08,293
- REMEMBER ME? WE WERE
IN HOMEROOM TOGETHER.

265
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,196
- OH, HEY, TANYA.
LONG TIME NO SEE.

266
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,630
- WHATCHA BEEN UP TO?

267
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,767
- ME? OH, I, UH--UH--

268
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:16,935
- ARE YOU MARRIED?

269
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:20,038
- MARRIED? UH, YES,
HAPPILY MARRIED.

270
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,674
VERY HAPPILY MARRIED,
TO A MODEL.

271
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,609
- WOW. ANY KIDS?

272
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:27,912
- TWO KIDS. BOY AND A GIRL.
TEGAN AND CASSIDY.

273
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,180
ALSO MODELS.

274
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,050
- GEE. WELL, IT'S GREAT
TO SEE YOU.

275
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,486
- IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU, TANYA!

276
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:37,689
WHAT WAS I SO WORRIED ABOUT?
I DON'T NEED BUGS.

277
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:39,958
- HEH HEH! ELLIOT HOWSER.

278
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,594
OH, HEIDI GARDNER.

279
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,896
HEH HEH! JIMMY BANKET.

280
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,197
- FRIENDS OF YOURS?

281
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,099
- OH, I DON'T KNOW
ANY OF THESE PEOPLE.

282
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,735
[GASPS] ANDY FRIEDMAN.

283
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:55,340
- DID YOU HEAR THAT
DAFFY DUCK WON A BRONZE MEDAL AT THE OLYMPICS?

284
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,743
- [GASPS] I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
KEEPING TRACK OF DAFFY'S LIES!

285
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:02,347
AND INSTEAD, I'VE BEEN STANDING
AROUND DRINKING PUNCH.

286
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:10,288
- WELL, I'M NOW THE HEAD
OF A VERY PROFITABLE NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION.

287
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,090
I USED TO BE A PRO SURFER,

288
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,659
BUT AFTER THE SHARK ATTACK,
I HAD AN EPIPHANY

289
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:18,263
AND DECIDED TO DEDICATE MY LIFE
TO THE BETTERMENT OF SOCIETY.

290
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,331
AND I'M ALSO A MODEL.

291
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,535
- SORRY, DAFF. OK, WHAT LIES
HAVE YOU TOLD SO FAR?

292
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:27,038
- BUGS, RELAX.
I'VE GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL.

293
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,139
- REALLY?

294
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,607
- EASY BREEZY.

295
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,110
IT'S LIKE STEALING BABIES
FROM A CANDY STORE.

296
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,778
GO ENJOY THE REUNION.

297
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,514
- I DON'T KNOW. I THINK YOU
MIGHT NEED MY--

298
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:41,653
[GASPS] IS THAT SOMEBODY ELSE'S
OLD ALGEBRA TEACHER?

299
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,189
- PETE! MARVIN!

300
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,191
WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS
BEEN UP TO?

301
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,828
- OHH. HIGH SCHOOL WAS
A HORRIBLE TIME FOR ME.

302
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:54,165
THEREFORE, I HAVE SPENT EVERY
MOMENT SINCE GRADUATION

303
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,501
PLOTTING TO DESTROY THE EARTH.

304
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,037
- HEH. I HOPE YOU HAVE BETTER
LUCK WITH THAT THAN I DID.

305
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,438
WHAT ABOUT YOU, PETE?

306
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,942
- OH, I'M STILL WAITING
TO GRADUATE.

307
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,443
- WHAT ABOUT YOU?

308
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,346
- I'M THE STARTING QUARTERBACK
FOR THE DALLAS COWBOYS.

309
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,082
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU OWNED
THE DALLAS COWBOYS.

310
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,984
- OH, UH, YEAH.

311
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,853
THAT'S--UH, I--

312
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,421
- WELL, WHICH IS IT?

313
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:19,924
- UH...UH...
OOH, LOOK OVER THERE!

314
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:23,127
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

315
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:36,774
- BUGS!

316
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:39,677
- HI. I'VE HEARD YOU'VE BECOME
A FAMOUS MOVIE STAR.

317
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,145
CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

318
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,947
- OH, UH, SURE.

319
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,650
- I'VE NEVER HAD MY PICTURE
TAKEN WITH AN ASTRONAUT BEFORE.

320
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,885
DO YOU MIND?

321
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,087
- YOU'RE AN ASTRONAUT, TOO?

322
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,890
- WELL, UH, BEFORE I WAS
A MOVIE STAR, I WAS--

323
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:55,059
- BATMAN, COME QUICK!
THERE'S A BREAK-IN AT THE MUSEUM!

324
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,527
- BATMAN?
- BATMAN?

325
00:14:56,529 --> 00:15:01,165
- WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING THIS MAN,
THE PRESIDENT OF MEXICO,

326
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,901
IS BATMAN?

327
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:06,905
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

328
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:10,174
[MUSIC PLAYING]

329
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,176
- HE'S SO CUTE.

330
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,579
- I DON'T REMEMBER HIM
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

331
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,782
- [STAMMERING] BUGS,
WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

332
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:21,119
- I'M HERE WITH DAFFY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

333
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,587
FROM THE STORY I HEARD,

334
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,789
HIGH SCHOOL WAS PRETTY
ROUGH FOR YOU.

335
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,492
- ROUGH? HA HA HA HA!

336
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,295
HIGH SCHOOL WAS THE GREATEST
TIME IN MY LIFE.

337
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,931
I'M SURPRISED DAFFY CAME.

338
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,065
- HUH?

339
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,067
- PORKY!

340
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,669
- HEY!

341
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,074
- EXCUSE ME, BUT DO YOU
REMEMBER DAFFY DUCK?

342
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,375
- WHO?

343
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,211
- DAFFY DUCK. COME ON,
YOU GOTTA REMEMBER HIM.

344
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:50,315
HE WAS THE COOLEST GUY
AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL.

345
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:53,685
DAFFY DUCK. YOU KNOW,
BLACK FEATHERS, BIG BEAK,

346
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:55,086
ABOUT THIS TALL.

347
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,822
- OH! YOU MEAN DAFFY DORK.

348
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,825
EW, THAT GUY WAS SUCH A NERD!

349
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,294
[BOTH GIGGLING]

350
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,929
- I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU!

351
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:08,299
MY WEB OF LIES HAS ENTANGLED
ME IN A WEB OF LIES.

352
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,302
- IN HIGH SCHOOL, WERE YOU
EVER CALLED DAFFY DORK?

353
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,037
- DAFFY DORK?

354
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:17,909
WHY WOULD ANYONE CALL THE
COOLEST GUY IN HIGH SCHOOL DAFFY D--[GASPS]

355
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,647
- [STAMMERING]
THERE WERE 3 SECONDS LEFT,

356
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,783
AND EVERYONE KNEW I WAS
TAKING THE LAST SHOT.

357
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,719
- HI, I'M DAFFY DUCK.

358
00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:31,189
- YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.
I'M THE GUY WHO DIDN'T ASK.

359
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,257
NOW BEAT IT.

360
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,528
- IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?

361
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:42,066
- CAKE FOR EVERYBODY!
IT'S ON ME!

362
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,268
- [CHEERING]

363
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,674
- HEY, NERD, ARE YOU
ENJOYING THE CAKE?

364
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,944
- IT'S DELICIOUS.
IS IT REALLY ON YOU?

365
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,614
- NO, IT'S ON YOU.

366
00:16:56,616 --> 00:17:00,952
- DAFFY DORK! DAFFY DORK!
DAFFY DORK!

367
00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:03,521
[LAUGHING]

368
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,595
- SO THIS MEANS I WASN'T
THE BIG MAN ON CAMPUS.

369
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,364
I WAS THE BIG DORK ON CAMPUS!

370
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,234
WOW, I REALLY AM A LIAR.

371
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,904
AND THE GREATEST LIE I EVER TOLD
WAS TO MYSELF.

372
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,274
- WAIT! DON'T YOU SEE?
THIS IS GOOD NEWS.

373
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,444
YOU'D THOUGHT YOU'D GONE
FROM HERE TO HERE,

374
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,380
BUT IT TURNS OUT
YOU NEVER WENT ANYWHERE.

375
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,215
- WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THAT?

376
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,618
- IT MEANS YOU
HAVEN'T PEAKED YET.

377
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,387
- [GASPS] YOU'RE RIGHT.

378
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,389
YOU HEAR THAT, YOU LOSERS?

379
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,958
I DIDN'T PEAK IN HIGH SCHOOL!

380
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,995
BUT YOU DID! AND YOU DID!

381
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,931
AND YOU CERTAINLY DID!

382
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,902
- DAFFY, I'VE APOLOGIZED
A THOUSAND TIMES.

383
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:54,939
- AND YOU! YOU USED TO BE
THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN SCHOOL,

384
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,607
AND NOW YOU'RE--

385
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,743
WELL, YOU'RE STILL
VERY BEAUTIFUL.

386
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,279
THE POINT IS YOU ALL
PEAKED TOO SOON.

387
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,148
EXCEPT FOR YOU. SO LONG, JERKS!

388
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,584
I'M OFF, AND UNLIKE YOU,

389
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:10,054
I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP.

390
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,190
AAH!

391
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:16,127
- DAFFY DORK! DAFFY DORK!
DAFFY DORK!

392
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:20,898
- DAFFY DORK! DAFFY DORK!
IT'S GOT A RING TO IT.

393
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,668
- DAFFY DORK! DAFFY DORK!

394
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,543
[BIRD CAWING]

395
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:07,345
[WHOOSH]

396
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,813
- BEEP! BEEP!

397
00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:29,967
- [ROARING]

398
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,571
[WHOOSHING]

399
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,987
- BEEP! BEEP!

400
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,666
[THUD]

401
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,140
[RUMBLING]

402
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,616
[WHISTLE, THUD]

403
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,886
[SQUEAK]

404
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:32,496
[RUMBLING]

405
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,639
[BEEPING]

406
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,055
- I MAY HAVE MISSED OUT
ON HIGH SCHOOL,

407
00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:02,793
BUT I GOT TO GO TO ONE HECK
OF A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.

408
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,796
OH! HOME MOVIES FROM
MY UNCONVENTIONAL YOUTH.

409
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:08,466
I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE
IN A WHILE.

410
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:15,606
[POIGNANT MUSIC PLAYING]

411
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,993
- YOU WERE
THE PRESIDENT OF MEXICO?

412
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,194
- EH, INTERIM.

413
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,631
- YOU DID ALL THAT INSTEAD
OF GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL?

414
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,234
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

415
00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:46,304
[LAUGHING]

416
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:49,173
YOU PEAKED TOO SOON!

417
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,776
[LAUGHING]

418
00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:01,552
- MEH, I DON'T THINK I PEAKED
QUITE YET.

419
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,125
[TIRES SQUEAL]

420
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:15,199
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS. ANIMATION

421
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,602
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

422
00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:39,023
- [STAMMERING]
TH-TH-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!

423
00:22:39,073 --> 00:22:43,623
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